Blame it on Mercury

Oh, the joys of a Mercury Retrograde. Your life may feel like a cluster f**k during these time periods, but I promise it’s all for the best. In the bustling, demanding, immediate gratification world we surrender ourselves into; it’s healthy to slow down and reach inward to reconnect with our souls. Don’t fear the Retrograde. Take in this cosmic, celestial power and own this time of reflection.

Let me better explain…


What is Mercury Retrograde?

It’s a reoccurring cosmic event that happens approximately three times a year for about three weeks. Let me give you an analogy (LOVE analogies) to help you better visualize what is going on in the sky.

Have you ever been on the highway in a car zooming past another, and as a matter of perspective it actually looks as if the other car is going in reverse? That’s what’s happening. Earth takes 365 days to orbit the Sun and little ol’ Mercury does a lap every 88 days. The orbits are actually more oblong shaped, oval if you will, not perfect circles like we learned in grammar school. As a result, days and time frames are never identical. Making these cosmic occurrences truly feel like specific times of divine intervention.

Mercury is flying past Earth, drawing energy and specific attention towards itself on matters pertaining to the original origins all the way back to Babylonian times; then further rooted in Roman and Greek Mythology, and with the modern twists we refer to today as astrology.

Mercury, the “messenger of the Gods” directly rules over self-expression, communication, technology, intellect, and travel. He is affecting the left side of your brain that deals with analysis, rationality and human connection.

Now, if this isn’t already a frustrating idea to wrap you head around; may I also quickly bring up the shadow period.

Since the retrograde happens so frequently; 30% of the population is born during a retrograde. Which means those lucky individuals (myself included) will feel these effects the weeks BEFORE and AFTER the retrograde.

It’s like someone coming in hot hitting you with the door on the way in, cutting you in the 15 person line, ordering the only blueberry scone left that you had your eye on, using up the last of the soy milk you prefer your lattes with, all while talking loudly in a different language on a malfunctioning phone, and then holding the door long enough that it hits you in the ass on your way out. You’re affected and hurt most upon entry and exit even though the matters in between were annoying as well.

And last but not least, Virgos and Geminis have mercury as their ruling planet. As the planet that guides and powers these two signs, individuals born under either as their sun sign, may tend to feel heightened intuitive powers and feel a stronger influence on life events during these periods.

Caca, nonsense?

Astrology is denounced  by the scientific community, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know plenty of actual scientists who check their horoscope daily. Astrology is defined as the study of movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world. (i.e. events, lives, behavior of people)

The beautiful and divine Moon directly affects the tides, does it not? This is a cosmic force that has a direct effect on something physical, tangible, natural and alive. So can we truly say astrology is absolutely not based in any science at all? Have you every had an ER nurse or a police dispatcher tell you that the craziest experiences and busiest times occur during a full moon? This is implying the cosmic energy that comes with the full moon also influences human behavior.

Or is it that so many struggle to reconnect with ideas more intuitively based, because the subconscious and energy realms just haven’t been explored deeply enough? I don’t know, I’m neither a scientist or an astrologist, just an empath. Personally, all of this resonates with my bruja ass.

If the moon is effecting us, why is it so crazy to believe when Mercury is closer to us that it is having a direct effect as well?

Mercury retrograde vibes are similar to that of Murphy’s law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Chaos is inevitable in life, that’s why we find beauty in calmness. Okay, yeah, maybe the timing of the shit storms in your life correlating with the retrograde is just a huge coincidence, but isn’t it fun to have someone to blame?

Mercury, he’s to blame!

Now that you all feel a little more confident and educated about what the retrograde is; let’s talk about what this time should represent and some key DO’s and Don’ts:


  1. Invest in yourself! Lather on that face mask and take a bubble bath. Enjoy extended amounts of alone time to allow yourself to recharge. Taking a break from other individuals’ energies is healthy. Try new types of meditation. Here’s my personal favorite guided meditation; reconnect with your “WHY”.
  2. Revisit old ideas and previous projects. Get back to focusing on your passions and other ideas you’ve been drawn to in the past. Take this down time to brain-storm and get all your ducks in a row. You’ll be able to see things in a new light, refreshing your mind and motivating your heart to move forward as soon as Mercury has left the building.
  3. Avoid Traveling.  If you must, allow a lot of extra time cushion for crazy circumstances like delayed or cancelled flights, errors with hotel or car rental reservations, getting lost, ridiculously unusual amounts of traffic, etc. Ideally have a Virgo or Gemini as your travel buddy; they tend to lighten the load due to they’re natural connection to their ruling planet.
  4. Reconnect with old friends, business partners, clients and acquaintances. You’ll find it crazy how many people from your past you’ll cross paths with during this time. Have conversations but be aware their may be sloppiness in your ability to express yourself. Slowing down your life gives your past a chance to catch up with you.
  5. Accept truths as they are revealed. It may be hard going face to face with skeletons in your closet but this is meant to correct energy flows. This will allow you to continue towards your divine purpose on a higher frequency. The higher the frequency the better you attract!



  1. Sign contracts. Ideally you’re not setting things permanently and legally into stone while the logical side of your brain is clouded and proper communication is a major issue affecting everyone.
  2. Have elective surgeries. Try to only allow extreme actions for extreme emergencies. It’s better to play it cool for these few weeks.
  3. Depend on electronics.  Expect internet issues, system failures, perhaps even stolen credit, or a hacked Spotify account. BACK EVERYTHING UP!
  4. Give that f**k boy-ex a second chance. Everyone is going through the retrograde and feeling naturally inspired to reflect inward. This means people who have wronged you tend to reach out for closure. Forgiveness is beautiful but knowing your worth is the priority.
  5. Let your lack of patience get the best of you. The lines will be longer than usual, traffic will make you late, there’s endless examples of things that will be testing you. Allow yourself to be un-bothered and immediately find something in that moment to be grateful for; even if it’s as simple as being able to breathe.


Final Thought

Make light of all the chaos that is whirling through your life during this time. Instead of regressing and going into a “woe is me!” mind frame; take control and look for a divine meaning. Instead of asking “why is this happening to me?”; ask yourself, “what is this trying to show me?”

Continue to make moves towards things that inspire you and  you’ve been drawn to in the past. This could mean doing things better the second time around because you’ve had more time to reflect and connect. Sometimes things need to fall apart to create room in your life so better things can be pieced together.

Laugh at yourself  sitting in the 45 min traffic jam, with no working AC on a 90 degree day.  Just listen to that new-new from Miley and be grateful you weren’t the one involved in the accident that caused everything to slow down in the first place.

There is no need to fear the retrograde, OWN IT! Blame the chaos on Mercury every chance you get, god knows I do. Say it with me, “F**kin’ Mercury!” (eye rolling emoji)

Alright kittens, you’re all perfect, keep meditating and reaching towards your highest vibrations. I love all. Until next time…


Xxx & O’s




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